Papanui Club Chat 12 Oct 2020 (Oct 12, 2020)

Parenting

On Being a Parent

President Elect Grant Paice gave us some insights on his experiences as an educational psychologist when talking with groups about surviving parenthood.

“I always introduce myself by saying that I have no kids, a cat that occasionally does what it is told, and a wife that never does what she is told and that I was here to tell them how to manage being a parent” smiled Grant.

He then shared a model for managing behaviour based on the key principle that “what you notice is what you get” i.e.:

Behaviour that is noticed increases the chance that it will occur again.
Behaviour that is ignored decreases the chance that it will occur again.
Behaviour that is dangerous needs to be stopped quickly with the minimum amount of attention including:
1. Diverting attention via proximity or restructuring or:
2. Having the child or other(s) removed from the situation.

After giving a couple of examples he then shared the Premack Principle that states we are more likely to perform a less desirable behaviour if it is followed by a more desirable one.

“On a hot Saturday I am more likely to mow the lawns if I follow this with a cold beer” smiled Grant ”whereas if I have a beer first I tend to leave the lawns until the next day”.

He then gave a few examples focused on the principle that what you notice is what you get.

“No single parenting strategy works with all kids or in all situations” noted Grant, who went on to suggest that effective parents acquire a wide range of strategies to help them deal with the various situations they might face.

“Parents who struggle with being consistent are like slot machines” he continued “with kids in this scenario continuing to play parents until their behaviours results in as payoff.” A sounder approach, suggested Grant, is to maintain a reasonably consistent approach to managing behaviour based on the above principles.

After a few more examples Grant asked for ideas from the floor re managing a teenage daughter who, when upset, storms off to her bedroom and slams the door shut. Members quickly came up with Nigel Latta’s idea of taking the door off its hinges and placing it in the garage for two weeks which typically gets rid of the problem very quickly.

“A work colleague of mine used this tactic to great effect” grinned Grant.

In closing Grant reminded members that kids do eventually leave home and gave us this final tip: “Remember to change the locks”.

Evan thanked Grant for his humorous presentation on surviving parenthood.

Snippets

Liz

On Wednesday 28 October at 6pm there will be a Helen Reddy Movie fundraiser, “I Am Woman”, at Hoyts Riccarton for $20.00 per ticket per person.

Helen landed in New York with her three year old daughter, a suitcase and $230 in her pocket. Within a few weeks she was broke. Within months she was in love. Within five years she was one of the biggest superstars of her time, and an icon of the 1970's feminist movement.

She wrote the song I am Woman which galvanised a generation of women to fight for change.

As with previous screenings for “End Polio Now”, all Clubs who sell tickets will receive a share of the profits and these will be credited to their respective clubs as a donation to End Polio Now.

Christchurch Clubs have been very supportive of the five previous movies that have been held for End Polio Now, and we hope that we will receive this support once again.

Tickets will be available in the week commencing 19th October.

Halloween Reminder

A reminder to all members that Liz is looking for volunteers to help make this evening on October the 30^th a great success.

Please refer to last week’s Chat or view the story on line here to see where you would like to help make this an event to remember.

Papanui Bush Reminder

A reminder that we are weeding tomorrow (Tuesday the 13^th) starting at 9.30 am with morning tea and will be finished by noon.

Denis.

The President’s Blurb

Sadly I had to leave Rotary early last week because of a recurring migraine. Thanks to President-elect Grant for stepping up again.

I met with Gary Denhard earlier in the week to interview a candidate for the RYLA course to be held in the third week of January 2021. An excellent candidate whose name will be revealed after the board meeting.

We have received further names for this course but given the cost (approx. $1000 per person) we are looking to see if there are Clubs willing to sponsor but with no candidates.

October 24 is World Polio Day. The International/Foundation committee will take the speaker slot at our meeting on 22 October and this will be dedicated to updating you all on the where Rotary and its partner organisations are in the eradication of polio.

Please support Stuart and his team as they put something together for this night.

On 28 October there is a district wide movie night designed to raise funds for polio. There's an opportunity to do something socially with fellow Rotarians and at the same time raise funds for polio.

The week commencing 26 October will be a very active one for Papanui Rotary with the District shooting tournament on Tuesday 27th, the polio movie night on Wed 28th, a visit to the Chch Rotary Breastmilk Bank in place of the normal Rotary meeting at the Club on 29th, the Ray White/Rotary Halloween event at St James Park 30th and on the 31st the Halloween event at Hanmer Springs Forest Camp.

Lots of opportunities for everybody to roll up their sleeves and help out. I look forward to seeing you all this Thursday night.

Cheers

Janice

Thought for the Week

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”